Why are the ups and downs so hard?

First, you are not alone, It is said that a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, with the same person.

• Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages Conducted by a team of leading family scholars headed by University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite, the study found no evidence that unhappily married adults who divorced were typically any happier than unhappily married people who stayed married. Even more dramatically, the researchers also found that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their marriages were happy five years later

Marriage is a challenge, that doesn't fit the "happily ever after" image that we expected. Some of us don't help our marriages by going to our family/friends who lovingly listen to us as we vent our unhappiness. Then they eagerly rewarded us by validating the emotional suffereings that they feel we "shouldn't" have to tolerate.

Be strong. Surround yourself with people who believe in "Marriage". Try to stay clear of other women's horror stories (they are not helpful). However, I did find it helpful to go visit friends who were married to that special someone "I would never marry" it always made me thankful for my hubby. With all that said, Marriage is a commitment between two people, therefore it takes two people and alot of prayer to make it work. But it can work......

I think one of the reasons why you say you're the only one who feels that way is that you just don't understand what is happening to you, yet. I think it would be very helpful for you to think first about the things that are happening to you. Why is this like this. Is this right? Do I even really understand what''s happening? And also, communicate.

That was a very nice study. Thanks for sharing it here. Indeed it is what happens to most couples. Gtting happier after a few years or so. Every couple should really be strong and face this challenge calld marriage.